Since my childhood, I have felt a big interest in femininity. I think I always knew I was meant to experience what I am experiencing today, since I came out to my girlfriend as a crossdresser. Having grown up on a slightly conservative catholic family, I couldn't even imagine how it would be to try and dress up as a girl, because I’ve always had to stick to the role of “the boy of the house” and repress my feminine side.
Day after day, all I could do was to imagine how it would be, and how I would feel when I could finally dress up. And when I did, it was amazing. I felt free from all the repression that was built on me during all those years, and I could finally be my whole self, not having to hide that feminine part of myself anymore.
There is, however, one thing that I have to make clear: I didn’t dress up until I came out. I was always too afraid that someone would find out, and the first time I could do it was with the help of my beloved girlfriend, which is currently the only close person that knows I'm a crossdresser and genderfluid person. It may seem obvious, but everything is easier if you have someone to count on, so i strongly recommend you to tell someone you trust and that is close enough to you about your crossdressing habits, mainly if you couldn't find the courage to start crossdressing yet.
I can still remember how much anxiety and depression were a common part of my daily life until I started crossdressing, as a result of me trying to hide part of myself from the world. I just felt that i wasn't being completely myself, and no one actually knew the real me. When I started to crossdress, however, I was able to feel the improvements on my self esteem. Expressing myself as the girl i always want to be helped me a lot , because i could finally feel that i was being sincere to myself, and i was no longer the only one to know about the existence of “Elise”, my female persona.
Another improvement that I could feel in my daily life is that I started to be happier with my own body. As a result of me only knowing how I looked as a male, I felt that my body was way too manly, and that I could never pass or even resemble a woman in appearance, but i was proven wrong. A little makeup, some shaving, the right shapewear and a combination of beautiful clothes and a nice wig, did something to me that I could never imagine to be possible until I finally saw it happening in front of my eyes. So, if you are still in doubt about trying to crossdress, fear no more: take your time and dress up, because you might be as surprised as i was with the results!
So, as we can see, accepting myself as a crossdresser and practicing that on a regular basis helped me a lot to discover my true self and to improve my self esteem, but doesn't stop there. My mental health and my self esteem were only the first things to be improved, because my own physical health was also later affected in a positive way. It is, because since i started crossdressing, i started to pay more attention on my general appearance, and suddenly I decided that i wanted to live a healthier life and to take more care of myself, so I’ve started to eat in a healthier way and to do exercises regularly, to improve not only my general shape, but also my thoughts and my mind.
As a conclusion, I can affirm that if you hide your true self for too long, there are going to be some negative effects not only on your mood, but also on your mind and even on your body. So, if you get the chance to express yourself the way you are, grab the opportunity and be yourself, because I’m 100% sure that you won't regret it. Crossdressing can be to you the same amazing and wholesome experience that it was for me when I first tried, and I’ve only had positive results after that. You will never know if you don't try it, so give it a chance and build your own experience, but make sure to share your stories to help other crossdressers! Happy holidays, and I hope for the best for all of you.
Written by Elise Wren